News just in from the Internet(s):
Inspired by NASA's space simulation ride for those who cannot afford a real orbit, a Seattle entrepreneur has begun preliminary designs for the Presidential Pod. It's a ride for those who want to be Leader of the Free World, but don't have any qualifications.
Just step into a perfectly recreated Oval Office and do whatever comes naturally! Take the presidential pen out of the desk drawer and veto a fake bill while having your picture taken. Spin around in the ultimate cushy chair. Invite friends in and bribe them to say what you want.
Put on your pajamas and pass gas. Pick up the phone, call a press conference, and say anything, on any topic. It's fun! Hire a male escort for mutual, fraternal paddling and BJs. Sneak scotch from your bottle-hideaway bible. For an extra fee, you can savor the memories with a Prez Podcast, in which you stand in front of the flag and declare: "I am the decider!"