Second Nature

a short play by S. P. Miskowski

(for Kate Kraay)


Characters:
Tom, well dressed man
Claire, his eight-year-old daughter (immaculately dressed and groomed)
Bill, businessman
Susan, his wife

Place:
The waiting area of a four-star restaurant attached to an exclusive hotel


TOM
Now remember what I told you, honey.

CLAIRE
What?

TOM
The thing we talked about?

CLAIRE
Oh, yeah.

TOM
I have to go back upstairs to get my cell phone. Are you okay alone for a few minutes?

CLAIRE
I'm okay.

TOM
You sure? If our table is ready before I get back, you go ahead and take it.

CLAIRE
I can take it.

TOM
Okay. I'll be right back. Don't go outside. Stay here and—

CLAIRE
Take the table.

TOM
Right. And—?

CLAIRE
[She thinks for a second, then:]
What we talked about.

[Tom smiles at her—she's so grown up. He exits to the hotel lobby.]

[Bill and Susan enter. Bill is talking on a cell phone.]

BILL
Yeah, I can be there. Six a.m., no problem. Monday. Absolutely. Not a problem.

SUSAN
[Lightly mocking him:]
Never a problem…

[He gives her a look—not mean, just a gentle "shut up, honey" look.]

SUSAN
It's only our second honeymoon—at our favorite hotel in the world. "No problem!"

BILL
[To phone:]
Yeah. Oh, right!

[Bill laughs a fake laugh into the phone. He rolls his eyes at Susan, self-mocking this time. Susan wanders over to the waiting area and notices Claire sitting alone.]

BILL
[To phone:]
You, too! All right, see you there.

[Bill hangs up.]

BILL
Honey, I'm just going to make sure they have the reservation.

[Bill exits to speak with the maitre d'. Susan looks at Claire, who smiles beatifically.]

SUSAN
You're not all by yourself, are you?

CLAIRE
My dad went back to the hotel suite.

SUSAN
Oh. Is he coming right back?

[Claire shrugs. Bill enters carrying a fancy cocktail, which he hands to Susan.]

BILL
This one's on the house, my dear. They are running behind schedule—but worth the wait!

SUSAN
Thank you. Honey, this is—

CLAIRE
Claire.

BILL
Ah. Hello there. I'm Bill, and this is my wife Susan.

SUSAN
So, Claire, your dad will be back soon, won't he?

CLAIRE
Presumably.

[They are impressed with her vocabulary.]

SUSAN
I love your dress.

CLAIRE
Thank you. It's my birthday dress. I'm eight.

SUSAN
Well, it's a beautiful dress.

CLAIRE
My mother made it for me.

SUSAN
Aw…

CLAIRE
Just before she killed herself.

[Awkward pause.]

BILL
Well, um, what does your dad do for a living, Claire?

CLAIRE
Mostly, these days, he drinks.

[Another awkward pause.]

SUSAN
Um, are you dressed up because you're celebrating? I ask because we're celebrating. This is our anniversary. So, uh, it's a special day for you, too?

CLAIRE
Yeah. And my dad likes for me to look nice—so people won't feel sorry for me and ask me questions.

[Bill and Susan don't know what to make of this.]

CLAIRE
Do you want to hear a story?

[They decide it might be good for her; or they feel sorry for her, so encourage her.]

SUSAN & BILL
[Overlapping:]
Sure. All right.

[As Claire tells the story, Tom appears in separate space acting out what she describes.]

CLAIRE
Once upon a time there was a man. He had a big gun. He stole money from a money truck outside a bank. Then he went to live at a hotel. He had so much money everybody did whatever he said. Only his wife knew he stole every penny. So she said she was going to call the cops. So the man yelled at her, and slapped her, and she jumped off the roof and died in the swimming pool.
[Slight pause.]
The end.

SUSAN
My—uh, is that something you watched on TV?

BILL
Honey, maybe we shouldn't—

CLAIRE
Do you want to hear another story?

[Bill and Susan overlap:]

BILL
No.

SUSAN
Yes.

CLAIRE
Once upon a time there was a man.
[Tom acts out what she describes again.]
He got drunk and took drugs. Then he shot the man he worked for. He shot the man so many times—one—two—three—four—seven times.
[Tom has to catch up—and pretend there is a seventh bullet in his six-shooter.]
The man stole a car, and drove and drove. His car broke down in the desert and he walked and walked to a truck stop. Then he met a little girl, who was playing jump rope and he said:

TOM
Do you want to be my little girl?

CLAIRE
"No," said the little girl. But he put his hand over her mouth and carried her away and stole a new car and they drove to Florida. The man showed the little girl to his wife and he said:

TOM
This is my wife Barbara. She'll be your mommy now. Call her mommy.

CLAIRE
And the little girl screamed and cried and tried to escape, but she couldn't get away because she was little and her feet didn't reach the gas pedal yet.
[Pause.]
The end.

SUSAN
[To Bill:]
Honey—

BILL
Yeah. Um.

SUSAN
Maybe we should—

BILL
What?

SUSAN
Talk to the hotel manager, or the—

CLAIRE
You want to hear another story?

BILL
I don't think we should really—

SUSAN
Yes. Of course we do, sweetheart. Go ahead.

CLAIRE
Once upon a time there was girl. And she played jump rope all day. Her mother was rich and so was her dad, and they loved her a lot—until the bad man with the gun stole her and ran away.
[Tom acts out again.]
The man wrote a letter. He said:

TOM
You have 48 hours to drop off the briefcase in the vacant lot, or the little girl gets it.

SUSAN
Oh my…

BILL
Honey—

CLAIRE
Pretty soon, the man and woman had lots of money to spend. So they unlocked the basement and let the little girl out. They gave her a bath and dressed her in the most beautiful dresses in the world. They combed her hair and shined her shoes, and they took her to live on the top floor of a big hotel.

SUSAN
Bill, we have to do something…

BILL
Yes.
[He sees a waiter gesturing to them]
We have to take our table—which is ready right now.

SUSAN
But, we should—

BILL
[Speaking confidentially.]
Will you stop? Stop it. You promised not to get involved with any more strangers.

SUSAN
But, this is—

BILL
Not again. You promised.

SUSAN
But—

BILL
We have to go now. So: Good luck, um, Claire…

CLAIRE
Thank you.

[Bill guides a reluctant Susan away. They exit to the restaurant just before Tom enters.]

TOM
Hi, honey. Everything okay?

CLAIRE
Yep.

TOM
You didn't tell any stories?

CLAIRE
Nope.

TOM
Good girl. I just talked with mom, and she said she's sorry she has the flu, but it's okay to go ahead and celebrate her birthday without her this one time. Okay?

[Claire nods enthusiastically and Tom kisses her on the forehead.]

TOM
That's my girl.

[The end.]